I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
