I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
