Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
