I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
