They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
