ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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