The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
