Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize