if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
