Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize