pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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