i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
There r osticjed everywhere
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize