Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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