david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
