my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
