Small penises have feelings too.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
