she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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