Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
