Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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