Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
COCAINE IS GR8
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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