Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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