but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
