who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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