She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
