I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
