see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
