just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Someone signed my nipple.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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