I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he fucked my hip out of place.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
