i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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