I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
