it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Randomize
