Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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