I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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