I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
