that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize