just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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