no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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