all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
