there's paper in my vomit.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
