I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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