He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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