for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
