how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
operation have a gay friend backfired
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
