2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
