S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
