my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
