We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am naked and annoyed.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
