Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
