But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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