Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
