Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
