The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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