Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
