i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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