He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
