You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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