i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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