Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
