You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
