he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize