never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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