apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
