About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize