Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
