just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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