i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Shame - the story of my life.
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