I just saw a hot homeless man
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
