Cold hands, warm shart.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize