I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Soap is not a condiment
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
