it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
