You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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