Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He shit in the fireplace
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
