In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
