Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
