Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
