i just google imaged poop.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
