she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize