is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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