how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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